I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize