the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
