he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
