So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My vagina is very pro this idea
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize