We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you win again, gameday.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
