Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
