i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Randomize