I wanna passion pit in your ass
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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