In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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