hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I will pee on everything he values.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
