During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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