I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
