only you would photoshop your dick
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
