Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
