Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
