positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
