ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
