So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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