Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
