I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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