just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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