I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
