i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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