Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
