Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Randomize
