Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
