ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
