I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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