just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
