no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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