Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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