I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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