he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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