i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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