Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
