its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
