I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
