what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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