so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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