i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
