Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
