Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
