2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
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nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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