I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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