Do you still have your period?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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