Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you traded sex for a burrito?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
