Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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