Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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