You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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