Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
