I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Too much gin, very little bucket
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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