are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
