If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
