trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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