Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
