How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My pussy is not your playground.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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