I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
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they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
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Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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