the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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