Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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