oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
