Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
