I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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