Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
